Hitsugaya's Rules on Dating
by Hazel Eyes401
Summary: Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya is the father of a beautiful daughter.  One who has come to the age of dating young men.  Do you really need to guess about how Captain Hitsugaya is taking this?  Please read and review.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. This story is based on the 10 simple rules for dating my daughter (which I don't own either).**

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Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya stared down at the list of rules on his desk. It was ironic that during his entire career as a Captain (nearly 400 years to the day) he hated paperwork yet here he was writing up some paper not related to work. This voluntary paperwork was very necessary after all it wasn't every day that his daughter, his only daughter, was going on her first date with a boy. Toushiro knew for a fact that this boy had been dating around the Gotei 13 for many years. During that time he had heard of the many broken hearts the boy had left behind. There is no way in Hueco Mundo that Toushiro would let his dearest Haruka be counted as one of those broken hearts. Toushiro glanced up at the door to his office before taking note of the time with clock on his desk.

'_He has two hours before the date starts.'_ Toushiro pondered in his thoughts.

**There is still time to cancel this date.** Hyourinmaru broke through his master's thoughts. It was obvious that his zanpakuto was just as nervous about his daughter's date. **Nobody would question your reasons, Master.**

'_As much as that would please me Hyourinmaru,'_ oh how much he wanted to stop this, _'I can't stop my daughter from growing up. I do want her to meet someone nice that will keep her safe and she can possibly marry.'_

**Of course, they have to be dating for a decade, at least.**

'_Of course, Hyourinmaru, any less will be unacceptable.'_ Toushiro smirked then looked back down to the paper and read over his rules.

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Rules for dating Haruka Hitsugaya

Rule 1: You will _only_ approach my daughter when you have been given permission.

Rule 2: You do NOT touch my daughter while I am in the room. You may glance at her, as long as your eyes do not wander below her neck. If you have problems keeping your hands and/or eyes off of my daughter's body, then I will remove them. Remember my zanapakuto is the strongest ice-type zanpakuto to exist and I have no problems utilizing his power. It is important to note that frostbite is the leading cause for losing appendages. Also, it is a slow and painful process.

Rule 3: Your appearance on a date will be respectable and conservative. Show up at my door in anything but your finest robes, and I will gladly remedy this situation by lending you a spare change of robes made of ice. This ice does not melt unless I will it to, and it will only come off when I remove them after your date is complete. Any frostbite you may incur during use of these ice clothes will be your problem not mine.

Rule 4: I understand that the cultures of humans have changed over the centuries, and it has become acceptable for the young to explore with the . . . physical aspect of relationships. If you even attempt to introduce my daughter to this physical side, then I will see you immediately - and permanently, without appeal - transferred to Squad 11. I hear that Kenpachi has been itching for some new blood, I mean recruits.

Rule 5: I have heard that most boys like to get more acquainted with the father. This will not work on me. The only thing I want to hear from you is when you expect to have my daughter home, and it better be "early".

Rule 6: You are popular and can date many other girls whenever you want. I have no issue with this as long as my daughter is okay with it. Understand this my daughter will be your ONLY date until she wishes to break up with you. If you make her cry, then I can ensure the rest of your career in the Gotei 13 will be a poor and miserable experience. I will let you interpret this in any way you wish.

Rule 7: When you are waiting for my daughter to finish getting ready for her date, do not fidget or complain. My daughter wishes to look her best no matter where she goes, and this can take longer than painting the Sereitei Academy with a tooth brush. If you get bored, then I will be more than happy to spar with you in my personal dojo behind our house. Please remember that I do not hold back when training and some opponents have become unconscious during these sparing sessions.

Rule 8: There are certain places where you are not allowed to take my daughter. These places include, but are not limited to where there are beds, sofas or anything softer than a wooden bench. Places where there are no parents or soul reapers within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear summer clothing. You are not allowed to see movies with a strong romantic theme, but ones that feature chain saws and death are okay.

Rule 9: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be busy with paperwork and have no time to spare for my family. On issues concerning my daughter, I know everything, I see everything and there is no place you can hide where I will not be able to find you should I not hear every word of truth. I am the Captain of the Tenth Squad so I have the ability to make a squad member disappear without raising any questions.

Rule 10: Be afraid. Be very afraid. I have fought against Menos Grandes, Espadas, and traitorous captains defeating every single one of them. So taking a punk like you out will be easier than lifting a pen.

Rule 11: I hear everything and I see everything so I will know what you do when you are out with my daughter.

Rule 12: On the day my daughter was born, she was adopted by every powerful soul reaper in the entirety of the Gotei 13. She has 2 aunts, 2 grandfathers, and 7 uncles, all are captains and all have the ability to rip you to shreds. If you have any question of what they will do to you, I have included a list of each captain and what they will do to you.

The Grandfathers

Captain Ukitake: he is an elderly man and may seem to be fragile and frail. This is a clever ruse, I have seen what he can do when he is seriously angry, and it is not a pretty sight.

Captain Isshin Kurosaki: he is her blood grandfather and was a doctor while he lived in the human world. So, he has ways to torture you in ways you could not possibly imagine and will make you wish for death.

The Aunts

Captain Soi Fon: she is the captain of the death squad and her zanpakuto can, literally, make you disappear into a pile of dust.

Captain Unohana: she is the medical captain and is capable of killing you so slowly you will beg to be killed, however she will be inclined to save you from being killed. After that, it will start all over again and will not stop until she feels you have suffered enough punishment.

The Uncles

Captain Yamamoto – I do not need to explain what he can do. If you don't know what he can do by now, then you deserve no warning.

Captain Ichigo Kurosaki – her blood Uncle, who is also a Vizard. I warn you that his inner hollow is insane and has been known to be sadistic.

Captain Kuchiki – he has a little sister so he understands the protective instinct of a father.

Captain Komamora – he feels that all women should be respected and has no issue with defeating a pathetic male who wishes to take advantage of a beautiful young girl.

Captain Kyoraku – he is protective of my daughter and I will leave it at that.

Captain Kenpachi – his experience with Lieutenant Yachiru has taught him to be especially wary of young males. If my daughter is hurt as a result of your actions, Captain Kenpachi will view this as a person insult and will have no issue with gutting you where you stand.

Captain Kurosutchi – he will take any excuse to get a new experiment. I can figure up a few excuses to give him and we will see how long you last as an experiment.

Just so you know, every Lieutenant and a good many of the high ranking officers are willing to torture you should you break my little girl's heart.

One final note

My zanpakuto may be part of my soul I do not always have control over his actions. Should he feel you disrespected my daughter, he will punish you in ways you can't possibly imagine. When you are screaming in pain, I will be conveniently too busy with paperwork and will not hear your cries of mercy.

If you obey all of these rules then I will have no problems with your courtship of my daughter.

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"Is it necessary for you to give this young man hope that he has a chance with our Haruka?" Hyourinmaru complained reading over Toushiro's shoulder. The ice dragon felt the need to be a physical presence when the young man entered the room in a few minutes.

"Yes, Hyourinmaru, Haruka assures me that he is an appropriate gentleman." Toushiro sighed leaning back into his high-backed chair.

"What does she know of appropriate gentlemen?" Hyourinmaru snorted then tilted his head as the sound of footsteps approached the office. "Speaking of which, the soul reaper approaches and he is not alone." Hyourinmaru smirked toward the door as the presence of his fellow zanpakuto came within his detection.

"It looks like Ichigo felt the need to send Zangetsu in his stead." The door opened and a sandy haired soul reaper walked into the office followed closely by Zangetsu. Toushiro stood up from his desk and looked down to the young man. Toushiro smirked down as he enjoyed that his six foot frame towered over the smaller form of Haruka's date.

"Please have a seat. My daughter informs me that you have a date with her tonight. I wish to have a few words with you before your date begins." Captain Hitsugaya returned to his seat and pushed the rules toward the young soul reaper who cautiously glanced between the tenth squad captain, his zanpakuto standing behind him, and the zanpakuto of the captain of the third squad.

"Yes sir."

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**A/N: Wow, this is the first new story I have written in several months. I have not forgotten any of my other stories. I just have been having problems gaining inspiration. This story was inspired by a review left on another story I wrote (Cleaning this gun a gundam wing songfic).**

**So, I'm hoping this story will prime the well so I can finish some of my other stories I started or at least update them.**

**Reviews are great incentives for authors, and will just make my day. So please humor an author and leave me some lovely reviews on what you thought of this story.**


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